Wishes

Sept 30, 08

I wish the steps You ask me to take were from stone to stone, a sure thing I could see. But the steps YOU ask me to take are into nothingness... no rock, no ground, not even a limb! Just black, bottomless nothingness.

I wish I could always remember that You are already there and You can see in the dark because You are Light. But I forget and start to blindly grope instead of just holding to Your hand. I can't see and I start to panic and want to run back to what I know, what is familiar.

I wish that what You want to to do could be done in my own strength. Then I wouldn't need anyone else and wouldn't have to ask for help or depend on anyone but me. But You always ask for something that I don't even know how to do, and You want me to move mountains, with only my heart!

I wish I had more backbone, and not so much wishbone, then I I know I could fly instead of fall..... I'd run in the dark.... and I'd grab my brothers' and my sisters' hand and say to them, "together we can do it!"
I wish, I wish, I wish.