A New Vessel December 6, 2009

The massive doors slowly open and cautiously, gingerly I step toward the threshold. Amongst swirls of glittering smoke and darting orbs of light I see Him. He has seen me first, and His eyes envelope me. I stand perfectly still, too captivated to move yet every cell in my body rages with desire to fall face down before Him. The depths of my very soul tighten and convulse as His gaze of fire blazes into my eyes, past my mind, around my heart and like a white hot laser penetrates to the innermost core of who I am.

In less time than it would take me to blink He has located every wound, hurt, scrape and nick ever inflicted on my soul. His face is Love, pure Love. His eyes behold my heart and I feel the pulsating rush of His desire to hold me, to comfort me, to protect me. As He extends His open hand to me a blindingly brilliant smile takes over His lips and He says, "Come My beautiful one, give it all to Me. From the old I make new. From the broken I make whole.

Unafraid I run as fast as my little feet will move with such momentum that I nearly collide with His toes before I can stop. He is more magnificent than I've ever imagined and larger than I can comprehend. The top of my head doesn't even reach the top of His big toe! My eagerness to trust Him delights His heart so that He laughs out loud and it thunders throughout the heavens and I know that my enemies hear it also and they tremble in fear because they know that He is about to overtake and reverse everything they have done to me. With the endless billowing clouds sparkling all around me I lay at God's feet all of my brokenness - the million shattered pieces that reflect the colors of my soul and all that has caused my brokenness... being lied to, rejection, abandonment, being used, ignored, stabbed in the back by words of anger, hatred and cursing... a seemingly endless list of batterings, bruising, ripping, tearing and defilement of my heart and soul.

I lay in a broken heap at God's feet and I wait. I wait as He gently, tenderly picks up each piece of me, of my life, looks into it and somehow sees something salvageable. Then He looks to His right and motions to the enormous shadowy figure sitting there. As the figure rises Light begins to emanate from Him pouring from His very pores, His eyes, His lips... the Light is blinding yet I cannot take my eyes off Him. Heaving with great sobs and gasps I am mesmerized as I recognize Him... it is Jesus! He stands over me and stretches out His arms, closes His eyes and as His face contorts and He grimaces with unimagined pain a roar resounds from His inmost Being that shakes the very foundations of earth and all of heaven trembles and is silent. As He stands there over me weeping His own blood, His own sweat and His own tears drip down on me in great torrents that flood over me completely engulfing me body, spirit and soul.

In amazement and awe I watch as His blood, sweat and tears begin to exquisitely meld together each piece, every tiny fragment until a Masterpiece is formed. Jesus throws back His head so that it is toward God and breathes in deeply. Then, once again looking down at me He opens His mouth and I see His breath in all it's power and magnificence rushing toward me! I gasp as His breath enters me and the fire and charge of all the lightening bolts in eternity past, present and future surge through my being, dancing in my soul. I lay there completely undone yet fully whole, wondering at the Majestic miracle that has just taken place. I am submerged in unfathomable peace. I see what I've never seen before; colors, beings, sound! I hear what I've never heard before; the future instead of the past, what is instead if what was, and what will be now is.

Jesus steps back and with eyes full of Love He admires, takes pride in , even desires His creation: A glittering, luminescent, beautifully shaped and formed vessel that reflects Him. His deepest passion, His longing for intimacy, His desire to touch the hurts in others. Now before Him stands a priceless vessel into which He can now pour His most valuable possessions: His Blood, the oil of joy and gladness, the very life giving essence of His seed. Then He tenderly, passionately sets His seal upon the mouth of that vessel. With His own lips He seals this vessel against destruction by placing upon its mouth a Holy Kiss. Forever more every time this vessel is tipped, knocked over, or He picks it up and pours out the contents, only love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control shall flow out in abundance from this beautiful, shimming, well formed vessel. Because of the seal of His Holy kiss on the mouth of this vessel no backwash from the world or from being rejected, abandoned, used, lied to, ect will enter the vessel. Only what is poured into it will pour out of it. He has poured Himself into the vessel and from it will pour fourth Love, Truth, Light, Obedience.

He has taken all my brokenness and made me whole. Now I am fit to be a vessel on His banqueting table. I am His help meet, His lover, His companion, and also to the one He chooses to give me to. I am His vessel full of Him, His life, His love, His truth to be poured out on a hurting, thirsty and hungry world. To any who may have been a part of my breaking process I say thank you. The brokenness was a part of my journey to wholeness. I live, I love, I laugh and with Him, life goes on... forever. The moment His blood entered me, eternity began for me! Before His throne forever more I dance with joy and new life!